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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the idea that someone could abruptly cease contact with a lover without a word seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive guide to the words gen Z is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who choose against having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Personal traits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits confirm your choice to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {